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00:00:03
none, -
WE WOULD LIKE YOUR UNDIVIDED
00:00:13
Unidentified Speaker, -
ATTENTION. ONCE MORE, PLEASE TAKE YOUR SEATS SO WE CAN BEGIN OUR PROGRAM. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WE ARE NOW READY FOR THE MAIN EVENT OF THIS 92ND...
00:04:31
Unidentified Speaker, -
IS AN EXAMPLE OF THE COMPOUNT ORGANIZATION HERE IN THE WHITE HOUSE PRESS ROOM. JESSICA -- >> I'M GETTING SUPPLIES. WE KEEP THEM UNDER THE DESK. WE...
00:04:57
Unidentified Speaker, -
NEED TO FAX, IT'S JUST -- CAN YOU PUSH ME? OVER THIS WAY, RIGHT HERE. >> NOTHING TO IT. >> IT'S VERY SIMPLE. >> LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WE WILL BE --...
00:05:24
Unidentified Speaker, -
MISS IT. I WILL MISS ESPECIALLY
00:05:26
Unidentified Speaker, -
THE ERGONOMICS. WON'T YOU MISS THAT. IT
00:05:29
Unidentified Speaker, -
IS SO FINELY TUNED IN HERE. IT REMINDS ME OF FLYING COACH BECAUSE I HAVE ABOUT AS MUCH
00:05:35
Unidentified Speaker, -
ROOM AS THE TRAY TABLE IN THE BACK OF
00:05:37
Unidentified Speaker, -
THE BUS WHEN YOU'RE FLYING A DISCOUNT AIRLINERS. I HAVE MY KEYBOARD RIGHT HERE, USUALLY MY LUNCH IS RIGHT HERE AS WELL
00:05:44
Unidentified Speaker, -
AND WHEN I HAVE TO ANSWER THE PHONE I HAVE TO DRAG IT OVER THE TOP OF THE SCREEN TO TRY TO TALK TO SOURCES. >> STEVE HOLLAND, YOU LOOKING FORWARD...
00:06:13
Unidentified Speaker, -
MAP OF THE MIDDLE EAST, WHICH NEVER SEEMS IRRELEVANT THESE DAYS. R >> AND RIGHT HERE, BENEATH THE ELECTERN AND PODIUM -- THE TRAP DOOR LEADING DOWN...
00:06:40
Unidentified Speaker, -
EVERY MORNING. A WINDOW. JUST A NIRKSE SMALL WINDOW, CURTAINS, FLOWER BOX. GOOD MORNING, MR. PRESIDENT. >> MAYBE HE WOULD TAKE QUESTIONS. >> EVERY MORNING...
00:06:54
Unidentified Speaker, -
HERE FOR 25, 25 YEARS. TERRY, WILL THE COLLECTION OF TIES COME BACK IN THE NEW SPACE? >> WELL, BILL, YOU HAVE IDENTIFIED THIS FROM THE CENTER
00:07:08
Unidentified Speaker, -
OF THE UNIVERSE. BUT WHAT YOU SEE IS THE
00:07:10
Unidentified Speaker, -
RESULT OF A GLOBAL SEARCH FOR
00:07:12
Unidentified Speaker, -
THE WORLD'S FINEST TIES. THEY COST AS MUCH AS $1 A PIECE. >> YOUR FEELINGS ABOUT THIS QUALITY CORNER OF THE WORLD OF JOURNALISM? >> SQUALOR
00:07:23
Unidentified Speaker, -
BUT WE CALL IT HOME. MY FEAR HAS ALWAYS BEEN IF THE GOOD PEOPLE OF MERGE AND WISDOM SAW THIS PLACE AND WAS PUT UP TO A VOTE, THEY WOULD DECIDE IT'S NICER...
00:07:39
Unidentified Speaker, -
FEWER VOTE. >> GLAMOROUS, JUST DRIPPING.
00:07:44
Unidentified Speaker, -
THE MOST IMPRESSIVE THING ABOUT WORKING AT THE WHITE HOUSE, I WAS TOTALLY UNPREPARED FOR, NO PLACE TO GET FOOD. HOWEVER, THERE ARE THREE BATHROOMS. DO...
00:08:03
Unidentified Speaker, -
BILL. >> HOW DO YOU LIKE THIS PLACE? >> THIS BOOTH? >> YOU THINK YOU CAN GET SOMETHING BETTER THE NEXT TIME AROUND. >> MY FAVORITE OF THE BOOTH IS THIS...
00:08:17
Unidentified Speaker, -
A RATHER SMALL GERMENT FACTORY. WITHOUT THIS I DON'T THINK ANY OF US WOULD STILL BE ALIVE. >> AND IN THE NEW WHITE HOUSE PRESS ROOM, THERE
00:08:23
Unidentified Speaker, -
WILL BE
00:08:24
Unidentified Speaker, -
UPDATED COMMUNICATIONS EQUIPMENT,
00:08:25
Unidentified Speaker, -
MUCH LIKE
00:08:26
Unidentified Speaker, -
THIS. HELLO, GET ME
00:08:29
Unidentified Speaker, -
REWRITE. AND PM PEOPLE DON'T KNOW IT, THERE'S AN EVEN TINIER SET OF DUNNTH-LIKE ROOMS BELOW THE PRESS ROOM. CNN LIVES DOWN
00:08:42
Unidentified Speaker, -
HERE. SUSAN, WHAT ARE YOU HOPING FOR WHEN YOU FINALLY GET NEW QUARTERS? >> YOU KNOW WHAT I HAVE TO DO, TAKE THIS VERY NASTY VITAMIN COCKTAIL EVERY...
00:09:06
Unidentified Speaker, -
HERE TEMPORARILY IN HOPES OF SOMETHING BETTER? >> WE LIVE LIKE RATS DOWN HERE, BILL, AS I THINK YOU KNOW. AS A MATTER OF FACT, RATS HAVE BEEN SEEN...
00:09:24
Unidentified Speaker, -
GENEVA CONVENTION SPECIFICALLY FORBIDS LOCKING PEOPLE KNOOP SMALL CLOZZESTS LIKE THIS FOR YEARS AT A TIME. >> WE ARE HOPING FOR NEW
00:09:31
Unidentified Speaker, -
FURNITURE IN THE REFURRISHED PRESS ROOM BUT HISTORIC PRESIDENTRATION LAWS PROBABLY DICTATE THIS NEEDS TO BE PRESERVED JUST EXACTLY AS IT IS FOR FUTURE...
00:09:50
Unidentified Speaker, -
REBUILD IT, THEY FANCY IT UP, REFURBISH IT AND WE COME BACK IF, AND IF WE COME BACK IN, IT WILL BE A MESS AGAIN IN A FEW DAYS AND WEEKS. WE ARE THE...
00:10:04
Unidentified Speaker, -
NAME. >> WILL YOU FEEL WHEN YOU'RE GONE FROM HERE YOU HAVE GIVEN UP SOMETHING SPECIAL? >> HELL NO. LOOK AT THIS. WE LIVE IN A CLOSET. ON A GOOD DAY...
00:10:27
Unidentified Speaker, -
WE SAY GOODBYE TO OUR FEDERALLY
00:10:30
Unidentified Speaker, -
FUNDED WORK SPACE. OF COURSE, THE ADMINISTRATION HAS PROMISED US IT WILL BE BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER. YOU DON'T REALLY EXPECT US TO BELIEVE THAT, DO...
00:10:48
Unidentified Speaker, -
MANY THANKS TO BILL PLANTE OF CBS FOR THAT REMARKABLE VIDEO CHORE. BY THE WAY, THE CON TRARIAN BILL FROM BILL'S CBS COLLEAGUE MARK KNOLLER WAS ACTUALLY...
00:11:11
Unidentified Speaker, -
PICTURE OF "EXTREME MAKEOVER WHITE HOUSE EDITION." AT NEXT YEAR'S DINNER, WE WILL BE READY TO SHOW YOU THE AFTER PICTURE. OR SO THAT IS WHAT THE...
00:12:09
Unidentified Speaker, -
TONIGHT. THE WHITE HOUSE CORRESPONDENTS ASSOCIATION SCHOLARSHIP PROGRAM IS DESIGNED FOR COLLEGE-BOUND HOIG SCHOOL SENIORS WHO DEMONSTRATED LEADERSHIP,...
00:15:12
Unidentified Speaker, -
ABC. >> THANK YOU. MR. PRESIDENT, TWO DAYS AGO YOU SAW FOR YOURSELF HOW THE GULF COAST IS RECOVERING FROM HURRICANE KATRINA'S STORMS LAST YEAR. TONIGHT...
00:15:36
Unidentified Speaker, -
ORLEANS "TIMES PICK UNE" STAFFERS WERE CHRONICLERS OF THE DISASTER AND THEY WERE ITS VICTIMS. DESPITE PERSONAL LOSSES, THE NEWSPAPER INSISTED ON CONTINUING...
00:18:38
Unidentified Speaker, -
NEWS. >> TONIGHT WE OWE A DEBT OF GRATITUDE FOR OUR JUDGES FOR THESE AWARDS, COORDINATED BY THE ASSISTANCE DEAN OF THE SCHOOL OF JOURNALISM AT THE NORTHWESTERN...
00:19:19
Unidentified Speaker, -
REPORTING, A PROFILE OF SOMEBODY NAMED MICHAEL GERSON, TRACING CHRISTIANS AND AMERICAN POLITICS FINE REPORTING THE JUDGES SAID, WRITTEN WITH CLARITY,...
00:20:22
Unidentified Speaker, -
AS HOST OF "WASHINGTON JOURNAL." BUT THAT IS JUST ONE OF MANY HATS HE WEARS. HE'S ALSO CHIEF WHITE HOUSE CORRESPONDENT, SENIOR EXECUTIVE PRODUCER...
00:21:44
Unidentified Speaker, -
SHE MIGHT BELIEVE SOME OF IT. THANK YOU ALL. WE'LL HEAR FROM FORMER
00:21:48
Unidentified Speaker, -
PRESIDENTS LATER THIS EVENING, BUT WHAT CAN WE SAY WITH YOUR OBSERVATION PRESIDENT. MARK SMITH HAS SET A NEW STANDARD, AND NOBODY HAS WORKED HARDER....
00:23:18
Unidentified Speaker, -
ROOM. MR. PRESIDENT, STARTING MONDAY THIS IS WHAT IT WILL LOOK LIKE. [LAUGHTER] >> TONIGHT IS AN EVENING FOR US TO SHARE A FEW LAUGHS AND PUT ASIDE...
00:23:50
Unidentified Speaker, -
LARGE FAMILY. PRESIDENT AND MRS. BUSH, YOU KNOW A THING OR TWO ABOUT RAISING TWINS AND I WOULD LIKE TO RECOGNIZE MY MOTHER OF ALL THOSE CHILDREN, BETTY...
00:24:52
Unidentified Speaker, -
STYLE. SO IF WE COULD, LET'S ROLL THE TAPE. >> LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT. >> NBC "SATURDAY NIGHT. >> YOU'VE TAKEN ALL MY -- >> I CAN'T...
00:25:22
Unidentified Speaker, -
THE WAY TO THE PRESIDENT IS TO START OUT
00:25:28
Unidentified Speaker, -
WITH MR. ROGERS, IT'S A
00:25:30
Unidentified Speaker, -
BEAUTIFUL DAY IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD.
00:25:32
Unidentified Speaker, -
THEN YOU ADD JOHN WAYNE, HERE WE GO, LET'S GO OVER -- PUT THEM TOGETHER AND YOU HAVE GEORGE HERBERT WALKER
00:25:47
Unidentified Speaker, -
BUSH. NOW, I DID USE THE HAND. THE THERE'S A LOT OF DIFFERENT GESTURES THAT HE USES. THE FIRST ONE I NOTICED WAS AT HITCHHIKER THIS ONE. THEN THE...
00:26:40
Unidentified Speaker, -
TOGETHER, TOGETHER WE GIVE HOPE TO GRAY-HAIRED, CHUNKY BABY BOOMERS EVERYWHERE. [LAUGHTER] >>
00:26:53
Unidentified Speaker, -
WITH THE VICE PRESIDENT AND THE FIRST LADY OUT ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL, THINGS AREN'T AS EXCITING AS THEY USED TO BE
00:27:01
Unidentified Speaker, -
AROUND HERE. IN FACT, IT'S STARTING TO WIND DOWN. >> THERE'S BIPARTISAN SUPPORT IN CONGRESS AND IT MEETS THE PRINCIPLES I SET OUT IN MY STATE OF THE...
00:27:15
Unidentified Speaker, -
IT. OK. ANY QUESTIONS? [LAUGHTER] >> HELEN? >> ARE YOU
00:27:25
Unidentified Speaker, -
STILL HERE? >> MR. PRESIDENT, I'M SURE YOU'RE AWARE, SIR OF THE TREMENDOUS MAIL RESPONSE THAT YOUR NEWS CONFERENCE ON TELEVISION RADIO HAS PRODUCED....
00:27:43
Unidentified Speaker, -
BELIEVE THAT IN OUR MANNER OF QUESTIONING OR SEEKING
00:27:48
Unidentified Speaker, -
YOUR ATTENTION,
00:27:50
Unidentified Speaker, -
THAT WE'RE SUBJECTING YOU TO SOME ABUSE OR A LACK OF RESPECT. I WONDER, IF YOU CAN TELL US YOUR FEELINGS ABOUT YOUR PRESS CONFERENCES TO DATE AND...
00:28:25
Unidentified Speaker, -
WHY YOU FIND IT NECESSARY TO PRACTICE IT? >> YOU ARE CHARGING
00:28:33
Unidentified Speaker, -
US WITH SOMETHING -- YOU'RE ASKING ME TO DEFINE WHAT IT IS YOU'RE CHARGING ME WITH? LET ME JUST SAY, WE'VE HAD VERY LIMITED SUCCESS IN MANAGING THE...
00:28:53
Unidentified Speaker, -
TO. >> ARE YOU ASKING ME? >> YES. >> WELL, I DON'T BELIEVE IN MANAGED NEWS AT ALL. I THINK WE OUGHT TO GET EVERYTHING WE WANT. >> I'M FOR THAT. [LAUGHTER]...
00:29:14
Unidentified Speaker, -
TED, RECENTLY ON
00:29:15
Unidentified Speaker, -
TELEVISION SAID
00:29:16
Unidentified Speaker, -
THAT AFTER SEEING THE CARES OF OFFICE ON YOU, HE WASN'T SURE IF HE'D BE INTERESTED IN BEING
00:29:24
Unidentified Speaker, -
PRESIDENT. IF YOU HAD TO DO IT TO DO OVER AGAIN, WOULD YOU WORK FOR THE PRESIDENCY AND WOULD YOU RECOMMEND THE JOB FOR OTHERS? >> THE ANSWER TO...
00:29:33
Unidentified Speaker, -
IS YES, AND NO, I DON'T RECOMMEND IT TO OTHERS. AT LEAST FOR A WHILE. >> AND ANOTHER OCCASION I REMEMBER -- WELL, I GUESS YOU WERE MORE ACCURATE, I DID...
00:29:53
Unidentified Speaker, -
KNOW THAT IT WAS ONLY AFTER A QUESTION FROM SARAH MCLINDA. [LAUGHTER] >>
00:30:00
Unidentified Speaker, -
AND SHE JUMPED UP BEHIND THE WEEDS UP THERE ON THE GOLF COURSE -- MAYBE IT WASN'T A GOLF COURSE, BUT IT WAS A GRASSY AREA NEAR THE BETHESDA HOSPITAL...
00:30:25
Unidentified Speaker, -
I'M NOT UNMINDFUL OF HOW YOU MUST FEEL, AND I WAS THINKING, AS THE MUSIC WAS LEADING, ABOUT A STORY THAT OCCURRED DOWN IN MY OWN HILLS OF TEXAS, WHEN...
00:30:54
Unidentified Speaker, -
IN HIS HEARING, AND HE WENT TO THE DOCTOR, AND THE DOCTOR EXAMINED HIM CAREFULLY AND SAID, WELL, HOW MUCH ARE YOU DRINKING THESE DAYS? AND HE SAID...
00:32:04
Unidentified Speaker, -
THANKS FOR INVITING
00:32:06
Unidentified Speaker, -
ME. I AM SORRY LAURA COULDN'T BE HERE. AND I'M SORRY SECRETARY RUMSFELD'S NOT HERE, EITHER. THE GUY CONSTANTLY SURPRISES ME. DO YOU KNOW WHAT RUMMY'S...
00:32:27
Unidentified Speaker, -
IS? "QUEER EYE FOR THE STRAIGHT GUY." [LAUGHTER] >> GEORGE ALWAYS SAYS HE'S DELIGHTED TO COME TO THESE PRESS DINNERS. BOLOGNA. [LAUGHTER] HE'S USUALLY...
00:32:59
Unidentified Speaker, -
IN THE WORLD, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO STAY UP LATER. [LAUGHTER] >> NANCY, WOULD YOU LIKE TO JOIN ME UP
00:33:16
Unidentified Speaker, -
HERE? [APPLAUSE] >> I KNOW IT'S GETTING LATE, DEAR, BUT IT'S NOT OFTEN WE HAVE SO MANY PEOPLE WHO HAVE
00:33:26
Unidentified Speaker, -
WRITTEN ABOUT US AND BROADCAST ABOUT US, ALL TOGETHER ONE ROOM LIKE THIS, AND I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT WANT TO SAY A FEW NICE WORDS FOR THEM. [LAUGHTER]...
00:33:42
Unidentified Speaker, -
A FRIENDLY LITTLE GREETING WOULD DO. [LAUGHTER] >> HOW ABOUT JUST A WORD OR TWO, SOMETHING FRIENDLY? EVEN ONE KIND WORD? >> I'M THINKING. I'M THINKING....
00:33:59
Unidentified Speaker, -
THE STORY OF THE FELLOW HERE A WHILE AGO WAS RUNNING FOR CONGRESS AS A REPUBLICAN, HE STOPPED BY A FARM TO DO SOME CAMPAIGNING AND WHEN THE FARMER HEARD...
00:34:11
Unidentified Speaker, -
JAW DROPPED AND HE SAID WAIT RIGHT HERE, WHILE I GET MA, SHE'S NEVER
00:34:16
Unidentified Speaker, -
SEEN A REPUBLICAN BEFORE. SO HE GOT MA AND
00:34:19
Unidentified Speaker, -
THE CANDIDATE LOOKED FOR A PODIUM, AND THE ONLY THING HE COULD FIND IS THE PILE OF THE STUFF BEST TRUMAN TOOK 35 YEARS TO GET HARRY TO CALL FERTILIZER....
00:35:15
Unidentified Speaker, -
MUCH. >> THANK YOU, STEVE, FOR YOUR MOST GRACIOUS WORDS. WE'VE GOT A LOT ON OUR PLATE THIS YEAR. IT IS GRATIFYING TO KNOW THAT WORK IS IN SUCH CAPABLE...
00:35:45
Unidentified Speaker, -
ME, DESPITE THE CRACK BERRY ADDICT I HAVE BECOME, MY WIFE AND MY DAUGHTERS. YOUR SUPPORT THIS YEAR HAS BEEN ATALISMAN FOR ME. THE OTHER IS THIS ORGANIZATION'S...
00:36:45
Unidentified Speaker, -
THE LEFT PUTTY IN THE ADMINISTRATION'S HANDS. WE HAVE BEEN CALLED BUSH'S TRAINED DOGS. AT THE SAME TIME THE RIGHT HAS ACCUSED US OF RELENTLESS NEGATIVITY,...
00:38:57
Unidentified Speaker, -
DANG PRESS DINNERS. COULD BE HOME ASLEEP, LITTLE BARNEY CURLED UP AT MY FEET. BUT NO,
00:39:06
Unidentified Speaker, -
I'VE GOT TO PRETEND I LIKE BEING HERE. [LAUGHTER] THE MEDIA REALLY TICKS ME OFF. THE WAY THEY TRY TO EMBARRASS ME BY NOT EDITING WHAT I SAY. [LAUGHTER]...
00:39:53
Unidentified Speaker, -
00:39:58
Unidentified Speaker, -
MOUCHO HOT. [LAUGHTER] >>
00:40:08
Unidentified Speaker, -
AS YOU
00:40:09
Unidentified Speaker, -
KNOW, I ALWAYS LOOK FORWARD TO THESE DINNERS. >> IT'S JUST A BUNCH OF MEDIA TYPES. HOLLYWOOD LIBERALS, DEMOCRATS LIKE JOE BIDEN. HOW COME I CAN'T HAVE...
00:40:26
Unidentified Speaker, -
LIKE ME? [LAUGHTER] >>
00:40:31
Unidentified Speaker, -
00:40:36
Unidentified Speaker, -
THE ONLY THING MISSING IS HILLARY CLINTON SITTING IN THE FRONT ROW, ROLLING HER EYES. [LAUGHTER] >> THERE'S GOT TO BE A FRIENDLY FACE OUT THERE SOMEWHERE....
00:40:59
Unidentified Speaker, -
THERE'S JUSTICE ALITO. HEY, BOYS. [LAUGHTER] >> BET IT FEELS GOOD TO BE OUT FROM UNDER THOSE ROBES. TOGA! TOGA!
00:41:12
Unidentified Speaker, -
TOGA! [LAUGHTER] >> THERE'S ALEX DEGREE BECK OF JEOPARDY. THAT BOY'S SMART. [LAUGHTER] HE KNOWS A LOT. MAYBE I SHOULD
00:41:26
Unidentified Speaker, -
PUT HIM ON THE SUPREME COURT. [LAUGHTER] >> LET'S SEE THE DEMOCRATS BLOCK THAT ONE. >> YOU KNOW, IT'S GOOD TO SEE SO MANY INFLUENTIAL GUESTS HERE
00:41:40
Unidentified Speaker, -
TONIGHT, JUSTICE SCALIA, JUSTICE ALITO. >> YEAH, ALL THE USUAL SUSPECTS. SPEAKING OF SUSPECTS, WHERE'S THE GREAT WHITE
00:41:51
Unidentified Speaker, -
HUNTER. ? >> I'M SORRY VICE PRESIDENT CHENEY COULDN'T
00:41:55
Unidentified Speaker, -
BE HERE TONIGHT. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] >> I AGREE WITH THE PRESS THAT DICK WAS A LITTLE LATE REPORTING THAT HUNTING EPISODE DOWN IN
00:42:05
Unidentified Speaker, -
TEXAS. IN FACT, I DIDN'T KNOW A THING ABOUT IT UNTIL I SAW HIM ON "AMERICA'S MOST WANTED." >> CHENEY, WHAT
00:42:14
Unidentified Speaker, -
A GOOFBALL. [LAUGHTER] >> SHOT THE ONLY TRIAL LAWYER IN THE COUNTRY WHO'S
00:42:19
Unidentified Speaker, -
FOR ME. [LAUGHTER] >> YOU REPORTERS WOULD GO NUTS IF YOU KNEW THE TRUE STORY. HE WAS AS DRUNK AS A SKUNK. [LAUGHTER] >>
00:42:35
Unidentified Speaker, -
00:42:37
Unidentified Speaker, -
ON ONE BEER. LITE BEER. PEOPLE WERE DUCKING AND DIVING FOR COVER. I WISH I COULD HAVE BEEN THERE. I SAW
00:42:48
Unidentified Speaker, -
HIM WALKING DOWN THE HALLWAY THE OTHER DAY AND LOOKED AT HIM AND SAID "DON'T SHOOT." [LAUGHTER] >> YOU SEE, PEOPLE DON'T SEE THE FUN SIDE
00:43:00
Unidentified Speaker, -
OF DICK. >> BUT DICK'S A GOOD MAN. HE HAS A GOOD HEART -- WELL, HE'S A GOOD MAN. [LAUGHTER] >> LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I'M FEELING CHIPPER TONIGHT. I...
00:43:18
Unidentified Speaker, -
HOUSE SHAKEUP. [LAUGHTER] [APPLAUSE] >>
00:43:23
Unidentified Speaker, -
SO I WANT TO TALK ABOUT SOME SERIOUS ISSUES, SUCH AS -- >>
00:43:33
Unidentified Speaker, -
OK. HERE IT COMES. NUCLEAR PROLIFERATION. NUCLEAR PROLIFERATION. NUCLEAR PROLIFERATION. >>
00:43:49
Unidentified Speaker, -
00:43:54
Unidentified Speaker, -
NUKLEAR PRO LIBERATION. >> LET'S GIVE THIS A TRY. WE MUST ENHANCE NONCOMPLIANCE PROTOCOLS. SANCTION NOT ONLY IAEA FORMAL SESSIONS, BUT THROUGH INTERSESSIONAL...
00:44:21
Unidentified Speaker, -
ENHANCE NONCOMPLIANCE PROTOCOLS,
00:44:24
Unidentified Speaker, -
SANCTION NOT ONLY AT EIEIO FORMAL SESSION. BUT THROUGH INTERSECTIONUAL CONDUCT. [LAUGHTER] >>
00:44:41
Unidentified Speaker, -
NAILED IT. [LAUGHTER] >> SEE, I'M AN ACTIVIST. I OBJECT TO THOSE STORIES THAT SAY I'M A LAME DUCK. I'M NOT A LAME DUCK, I'M A SPRINTING DUCK. ...
00:45:09
Unidentified Speaker, -
WORLD DUCK. AND I'LL CONTINUE TO SPREAD OUR AGENDA GLOBALLY AND AROUND THE WORLD, AS WELL AS
00:45:17
Unidentified Speaker, -
INTERNATIONALLY. [LAUGHTER] >> SOME OF MY CRITICS IN THE INTERNATIONAL COMMUNITY CALL ME ARROGANT. I WILL NOT EVEN HONOR THAT WITH A RESPONSE. SCREW...
00:45:44
Unidentified Speaker, -
SOME RHETORICAL ELOQUENCE. >> MY FRIENDS, OUR PURPLE MOUNTAINS WITH RAMPARTS RED GLARE, WHITE WITH FOAM AND JUSTICE FOR ALL, FRUITY PLAINS, GAL ANTLY...
00:46:01
Unidentified Speaker, -
SHINING CITY ON A SHINING HILL, ABOVE A SHINING PRAIRIE AND MAYBE SOME SHINY TREES AND A FEW SHRUBS, I
00:46:09
Unidentified Speaker, -
SEE A SHINY AMERICA. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] >> YES, MY FELLOW AMERICANS, IN THE WORDS OF SIGMUND FREUD, I HAVE A DREAM. [LAUGHTER] >> AND ONE OF THOSE...
00:46:39
Unidentified Speaker, -
OUT ON TOUR OF THE CHINESE COUNTRYSIDE, WITH THE CHINESE PREMIER, DEBE A LOW. I LOAD HIM STRAIGHT IN
00:46:50
Unidentified Speaker, -
THE EYE AND I SAID, PLPT, TEAR DOWN THIS WALL." [LAUGHTER] J YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN HIS FACE. [LAUGHTER] >> I LOVE AMERICA. BECAUSE IT'S FULL OF...
00:47:32
Unidentified Speaker, -
YOU SEE, IT'S LIKE THIS HERE. WE CAN ALL COME TOGETHER. HERE'S A VISUAL, SEE THERE, LOOK THERE. THERE'S THE CHURCH. AND THERE'S THE STEEPLE. ON...
00:47:50
Unidentified Speaker, -
WIGGLING, THERE'S ME AND SENATOR KENNEDY ON THE FRONT
00:47:54
Unidentified Speaker, -
ROW. >> I COULDN'T HAVE SAID THAT BETTER MYSELF. [LAUGHTER] >> LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THAT RUGGEDLY GOOD-LOOKING GUY RIGHT THERE IS STEVE BRIDGES. [APPLAUSE]...
00:48:15
Unidentified Speaker, -
TALENT. IN FACT, STEVE DID ALL MY DEBATES WITH SENATOR KERRY. [LAUGHTER] >>
00:48:20
Unidentified Speaker, -
HE'S DONE MOVE MY NEWS CONFERENCES. STEVE, I HAVE TO SAY YOU COULD HAVE DONE A LITTLE BETTER IN THE DEBATES. I WANT TO THANK STEVE FOR ACCEPTING MY...
00:48:35
Unidentified Speaker, -
FUN EVENING. AS MOST OF MY PREDECESSORS HAVE KNOWN, IT'S REALLY IMPORTANT TO BE ABLE TO LAUGH IN THIS JOB, AND I THANK YOU FOR GIVING US THE CHANCE
00:48:45
Unidentified Speaker, -
TO LAUGH TONIGHT. I HAVE ONE MORE THING I WANT TO SHARE WITH YOU ON MY MIND, SOMETHING THAT'S NEVER FAR FROM MY MIND. GOD BLESS OUR TROOPS. GOD BLESS...
00:49:58
Unidentified Speaker, -
LAST YEAR. HE'S SHOWN AMERICA HE'S NOT ONLY FUNNY, BUT FEARLESS, HE WILL DEFEND THE TRUTH WHETHER OR NOT IT IS UNDER ATTACK AND HE WILL STAND UP FOR WHAT...
00:51:41
Unidentified Speaker, -
WOW, WOW, WHAT AN HONOR. THE WHITE HOUSE SORNEDENTS' DINNER. TO JUST SIT HERE, AT THE SAME TABLE WITH MY HERO, GEORGE W. BUSH, TO BE THIS CLOSE...
00:52:28
Unidentified Speaker, -
COCKTAIL. MCSMITH, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN OF THE PRESS CORPS, MR. PRESIDENT AND FIRST LADY, MY NAME IS STEPHEN COLBERT AND IT'S MY PRIVILEGE TONIGHT...
00:53:41
Unidentified Speaker, -
IT THE NO FACT ZONE. FOX NEWS, I OWN THE COPYRIGHT ON THAT TERM. [LAUGHTER] I'M A SIMPLE MAN WITH A SIMPLE MIND, WITH A SIMPLE SET OF BELIEFS THAT...
00:55:26
Unidentified Speaker, -
RELIGION, BE IT HINDU, JEWISH OR MUSLIM. I BELIEVE OUR INFINITE PATHS TO ACCEPTING JESUS CHRIST AS YOUR PERSONAL SAVIOR. [LAUGHTER] >> LADIES AND...
00:56:00
Unidentified Speaker, -
APPROVAL RATING. BUT GUYS LIKE US, WE DON'T PAY ATTENTION TO THE POLLS. WE KNOW THAT POLLS ARE JUST A COLLECTION OF STATISTICS THAT REFLECT WHAT PEOPLE...
00:56:41
Unidentified Speaker, -
THERE'S STILL SOME LIQUID IN THAT GLASS IS MY POINT, BUT I WOULDN'T DRINK IT. [LAUGHTER] >> THE LAST THIRD IS USUALLY BACKWASH. FOLKS, MY POINT IS THAT...
00:57:12
Unidentified Speaker, -
AND APOLLO CREED IS EVERYTHING ELSE IN THE WORLD. IT'S THE 10TH ROUND. HE'S BLOODIED, HIS CORNERMAN, MIC, WHO IN THIS CASE WOULD BE THE VICE PRESIDENT,...
01:00:56
Unidentified Speaker, -
THEY'RE SUPERDEPRESSING. [LAUGHTER] >> AND IF THAT'S YOUR GOAL, WELL, MISERY ACCOMPLISHED. OVER THE LAST FIVE YEARS YOU
01:01:04
Unidentified Speaker, -
PEOPLE WERE SO GOOD OVER TAX CUTS, W.M.D. INTELLIGENCE, THE AFFECT OF GLOBAL WARMS. WE AMERICANS DIDN'T WANT TO KNOW, AND YOU HAD THE COURTESY NOT TO...
01:01:20
Unidentified Speaker, -
AS FAR AS WE KNEW. BUT, LISTEN, LET'S REVIEW THE RULES. HERE'S HOW IT WORKS. THE PRESIDENT MAKES DECISIONS, HE'S THE DECIDER. THE PRESS SECRETARY...
01:02:25
Unidentified Speaker, -
METAPHOR. THISED A SMGS NOT SINKING. THIS ADMINISTRATION IS SOARING. IF ANYTHING, THEY ARE REARRANGING THE DECK CHAIRS ON THE BEHINDEN BURG. [LAUGHTER]...
01:03:07
Unidentified Speaker, -
HIM. AND I MEAN BUMP HIM. I KNOW A GUY. SAY THE WORD. [LAUGHTER] >> SEE WHO WE'VE GOT HERE TONIGHT. GENERAL MOWSLY, AIR FORCE CHIEF OF STAFF. GENERAL...
01:03:39
Unidentified Speaker, -
HANDLE THESE RETIRED GENERALS CAUSING ALL THIS TROUBLE, DON'T LET THEM RETIRE. C'MON, WE'VE GOT A STOP LOSS PROGRAM, LET'S USE IT ON THESE GUYS....
01:04:43
Unidentified Speaker, -
FANTASTIC. HOW ARE YOU? [LAUGHTER] >>
01:04:56
Unidentified Speaker, -
JUDGE MACIS HERE. JOHN MCCAIN JOHN MCCAIN. WHAT A MAVERICK. SOMEBODY FIND OUT WHAT FORK HE USED ON HIS SALAD, BECAUSE I GUARANTEE YOU WASN'T A SALAD...
01:05:26
Unidentified Speaker, -
WHEN YOU GO TO SPEAK AT BOB JONES UNIVERSITY. SO GLAD YOU'VE SEEN THE LIGHT. MAYOR NAGIN IS HERE FROM NEW ORLEANS, THE CHOCOLATE CITY. YEAH, GIVE...
01:06:15
Unidentified Speaker, -
BROUGHT ALONG HIS LOVELY WIFE VALERIE PLAME. OH, MY GOD! [APPLAUSE] >> OH, WHAT HAVE I SAID. I AM SORRY, MR. PRESIDENT, I MEANT TO SAY HE BROUGHT...
01:06:47
Unidentified Speaker, -
TONY SNOW. SECRET SERVICE NAME, SNOW JOB. WHAT A HERO, TOOK THE SECOND TOUGHEST JOB IN GOVERNMENT, NEXT TO, OF COURSE, THE AMBASSADOR TO IRAQ. [LAUGHTER]...
01:07:23
Unidentified Speaker, -
HASN'T MADE THE DECISION TO QUICKLY, SIR. I WAS VYING FOR THE JOB. I THINK I WOULD HAVE MADE A FABULOUS PRESS SECRETARY. I HAVE NOTHING BUT CONTEMPT...
01:08:22
Unidentified Speaker, -
PIE. DOUBTING THOMAS, ALWAYS A PLEASURE. AND SUSAN MALMAL, HELLO. YES? >> WILL THE VICE PRESIDENT BE AVAILABLE SOON TO ANSWER ALL QUESTIONS HIMSELF?...
01:08:56
Unidentified Speaker, -
YOU HAPPY ABOUT THAT? >> NO, SIR, NO, SIR, MR. COLBERT,
01:09:02
Unidentified Speaker, -
ARE YOU? >>
01:09:05
Unidentified Speaker, -
LOOK, WE WOKE DAVID GREGG UP. DO YOU HAVE A QUESTION? >> DID CALIFORNIA ROVE
01:09:11
Unidentified Speaker, -
COMMIT A CRIME. >> NOT AT ALL. ASK HIM. KARL, PAY ATTENTION, PLEASE. >> DO YOU STAND BY YOUR STATEMENT FROM THE FALL OF 2003, WHEN YOU WERE
01:09:21
Unidentified Speaker, -
ASKED SPECIFICALLY ABOUT KARL AND ABRAMS AND LIBBY AND SAID I'VE GONE TO EACH
01:09:27
Unidentified Speaker, -
OF THOSE GENTLEMEN AND THEY TOLD ME THEY ARE NOT INVOLVED IN THIS. DO YOU STAND
01:09:31
Unidentified Speaker, -
BY THIS STATEMENT? >> NO, I'M JUST KIDDING. >>
01:09:34
Unidentified Speaker, -
YOU STOOD -- >> THAT'S WHERE
01:09:37
Unidentified Speaker, -
YOU'RE WRONG. NEW PODIUM. JUST HAD IT DELIVERED TODAY. GET YOUR FACTS STRAIGHT. >> THAT IS RIDICULOUS, THE IDEA YOU'RE GOING TO STAND BEFORE US AND...
01:09:53
Unidentified Speaker, -
DAVID?
01:09:54
Unidentified Speaker, -
IF I CAN'T HEAR YOU, I CAN'T ANSWER YOUR
01:09:57
Unidentified Speaker, -
QUESTION. I'M SORRY. I HAVE TO MOVE ON. TERRY? >> AFTER THE INVESTIGATION BEGAN, AFTER THE CRIMINAL INVESTIGATION
01:10:05
Unidentified Speaker, -
WAS UNDER WAY, YOU SAID --
01:10:11
Unidentified Speaker, -
ALL OF A SUDDEN YOU HAVE RESPECT FOR THE SANCTITY OF THE CRIMINAL INVESTIGATION? >> NO, I NEVER HAD ANY RESPECT FOR THE SANCTITY OF A
01:10:21
Unidentified Speaker, -
CRIMINAL INVESTIGATION. ACTIVIST JUDGES. HELEN? >> YOU'RE GOING TO BE SORRY. [LAUGHTER] >> WHAT ARE THEY GOING TO DO, ASK ME FOR A RECIPE? >> YOUR DECISION...
01:10:37
Unidentified Speaker, -
OF AMERICANS AND IRAQIS. EVERY REASON GIVEN, PUBLICLY AT LEAST, HAS TURNED OUT IT NOT TO
01:10:46
Unidentified Speaker, -
BE TRUE. >> I DON'T THINK
01:10:49
Unidentified Speaker, -
THAT -- >> WHY QUESTION IS WHY DID YOU REALLY WANT TO GO
01:10:54
Unidentified Speaker, -
TO WAR? >> I'M STOPPING YOU RIGHT THERE. THAT'S ENOUGH. >> WHAT'S YOUR REAL -- >> STORY, HELEN, I'M MOVING ON. >> GUYS, NO. >> WOULD YOU TELL US...
01:11:09
Unidentified Speaker, -
GUYS, DON'T LET
01:11:11
Unidentified Speaker, -
HELEN DO THIS. >> THE PRESS CONFERENCE -- >>
01:11:16
Unidentified Speaker, -
I'M NOT LISTENING
01:11:18
Unidentified Speaker, -
TO YOU. >> DO WHAT -- >>
01:11:21
Unidentified Speaker, -
ALAN. I HATE
01:11:24
Unidentified Speaker, -
01:11:25
Unidentified Speaker, -
YOU. I'M OUT OF
01:11:28
Unidentified Speaker, -
HERE. THERE IS A WALL HERE. [LAUGHTER] >>
01:11:33
Unidentified Speaker, -
01:11:35
Unidentified Speaker, -
IT REEKS IN
01:11:38
Unidentified Speaker, -
THERE.
01:11:40
Unidentified Speaker, -
RIDICULOUS. I'VE NEVER
01:11:41
Unidentified Speaker, -
BEEN SO INSULTED IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. A STUPID JOB. (music) >>
01:11:59
Unidentified Speaker, -
CONDI. (music) >> THANK GOD. HELP ME! >> WHAT'S THE PROBLEM, SIR? >> SHE WON'T STOP ASKING WHY ARE
01:12:34
Unidentified Speaker, -
WE INVADING IRAQ? >> HEY, WHY DID WE INVADE IRAQ? >> NO! (music) >>
01:12:46
Unidentified Speaker, -
01:12:51
Unidentified Speaker, -
01:12:53
Unidentified Speaker, -
01:12:58
Unidentified Speaker, -
C'MON. (music) >>
01:13:02
Unidentified Speaker, -
01:13:19
Unidentified Speaker, -
OH,. (music) >> GOT IT. OH, GOD! (music) >> C'MON! (music) >>
01:13:44
Unidentified Speaker, -
NO! (music) >>
01:13:49
Unidentified Speaker, -
NO! (music) [TRAIN
01:14:01
Unidentified Speaker, -
01:14:04
Unidentified Speaker, -
COMMISSLE] WHISTLE] >>
01:14:18
Unidentified Speaker, -
WHAT A OFFICIAL TRIP. TAKE ME HOME. -- WHAT A TERRIBLE TRIP. TAKE ME HOME. >> BUCKLE UP. NO! (music) >>
01:14:39
Unidentified Speaker, -
HELEN THOMAS, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. [APPLAUSE] >>
01:14:48
Unidentified Speaker, -
MR. SMITH, MEMBERS OF THE WHITE HOUSE CORRESPONDENTS' ASSOCIATION, MADAM FIRST LADY, MR. PRESIDENT, IT'S BEEN A TRUE HONOR. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. GOOD
01:15:02
Unidentified Speaker, -
01:15:12
Unidentified Speaker, -
NIGHT. >> LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THAT CONCLUDES OUR PROGRAM FOR THIS EVENING. MAY I PLEASE ASK YOU TO REMAIN IN YOUR SEATS WHILE THE PRESIDENT AND FIRST...
01:15:34
Unidentified Speaker, -
SO THE 92ND ANNUAL CORRESPONDENTS' DINNER WRAPS UP AT THE INTERNATIONAL BALLROOM IN WASHINGTON, D.C. WE'LL GIVE YOU A CHANCE TO SEE IT AGAIN, A COUPLE...
01:16:56
Unidentified Speaker, -
OCCASIONS HERE ON C-SPAN. . [BACKGROUND CONVERSATION] [BACKGROUND CONVERSATION] [BACKGROUND CONVERSATION] [BACKGROUND CONVERSATION] ...
01:33:37
Unidentified Speaker, -
NOW, WE WILL DO THAT. WE WILL TAKE YOU BACK TO SOME OF THE EARLY ARRIVALS BETWEEN 6:00 AND 7:00 EASTERN THE GUESTS STARTED TO ARRIVE. OUR CAMERAS WERE...

NOTE: The transcript for this program was compiled from uncorrected Closed Captioning.

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